Lent: week 2

Guys, I totally cheated some the second half of this week.  I have been eating Whole30 for meals, but I also ate some junk food with friends.  I blame Spring Sing.  ‘Nuff said.

Anyways, I am still going to continue with my Whole30.  I’ve decided to allow myself to use butter for cooking because I feel that it’s healthier than using vegetable oil.  I’m also debating leaving the option open to do some Paleo baking (with nut flours and honey as sweetener) on the weekends, but I’m not sure.  I did it this weekend and I definitely notice that I do feel better when I stick to healthier foods.  However, baking is a huge passion of mine and is something that Calvin and I have really enjoyed doing together, so we’ll see.

I’ve been really surprised this week at how much reflection Lent has prompted.  I mean, I knew the purpose of it was to provoke thought, but I didn’t expect this sort of depth.  I feel like I’ve learned several things about myself this week, including the following:

  • I’m impatient.  This surprised me a little bit because I’ve never really thought of myself as an impatient person.  I’m the oldest of 8 and I work with kids on a daily basis as part of my job, so patience sort of goes with the territory.  However, apparently that’s just something I’ve cultivated in that specific area that doesn’t extend into all parts of my life.  It should NOT be as hard as it is for me to delay gratification and wait a few measly weeks to have sweets.
  •   I’m self-centered.  I don’t mean in the way that I promote my self-interest at the expense of others.  Rather, I’ve realized that I tend to fall into the “I deserve _____” mindset far too often.  I feel like this is a very American phenomenon – we’ve all been quite effectively trained to believe that we should never feel any discomfort.  It’s interesting to me that I learned this in conjunction with food, as I believe that this mindset plays a large part in America’s obesity epidemic.  Instead of being viewed as normal, hunger is viewed as something which must be fixed right away.  This also leads me to my next point.
  • I have a warped relationship with food. Although I’m at a very healthy weight and don’t have an overeating problem, this week has shown me that I don’t have a healthy relationship with food.  I’ve noticed that I tend to link food with happiness and relaxation – if I want to feel happy and relaxed, I feel like I need to eat.  This is a link I’d like to break as I know it will really come back to bite me as I get older.
  • I’m imperfect.  When I think about how difficult it is for me to make some simple changes to my diet for just a short period of time, it really leaves me in awe of Jesus’ example of devotion and self-control throughout his lifetime.  It gives me a newfound respect for what it really meant for him to be subject to all temptations known to man and yet to remain pure.  I mean, he willingly subjected himself to 40 days without ANY food, and then refused to make bread for himself!  That’s some pretty serious determination right there.

Overall, I feel like this has been a good week for me.  Although I didn’t stick to my goals perfectly, deviating actually taught me some valuable lessons.  I learned that I really do feel better when I eat better, and as I listed above, it also provided a lot of food for thought regarding my spiritual growth.  I’m actually looking forwards to getting back on track and feeling better in the coming week!

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